Stillness

Long day. Tough day. Started in the stillness of a restaurant and ended in the stillness of my apartment. Lots of noise in between. Co-leaders, staff, guests, students, meetings, Christmas party, the emails that don’t stop with the noise, the bosses that don’t stop with the noise AND are encouraging. Sitting in my quiet apartment where the lack of noise is so loud it hums in the physical vibrations of air. Before it all began, I asked myself to dance the flow of my day. While it felt more like a marionette dance with strings pulled by the invisible forces of my handlers: perfection and pleasing; it also felt like I one more time stood in the gale of a storm, fisted my hands and screamed, “I am and I will.”