Lost
I took my friend Sarah (Hi Sarah!) on a hike on top of / around / and down Signal Mountain, Tn. I got lost. Kind of. She would say completely. I remembered the start, I remembered the finish, but I had not traversed this particular path enough to remember the connecting path that got me from the beginning to the end.
As I am coming out of a time of mild depression, I wonder if this is the same thing that happens along our inner path. Life leads us on a journey. I know the start - there is usually depression of some kind, a despondency, a feeling of what is the point of all of this, what is the point of life itself. I know the finish - an inner peace, a quiet joy, an abundance of gratitude at the miracle of being alive. But I do not always know how to connect from the start to the finish and I often feel lost in my inner path.
That day, just at the point that Sarah was sure we were lost and I was mostly sure we were, there was a mom and her young son playing in a stream. We asked the mom for directions to help us get back to the car. She was quite confused as to where we came from and how to tell us where we were going. Her son, a young boy of around four or five, piped up in his clear voice with absolute confidence and gave us the direction we needed. Wherever you are, thank you, child.
Typically, when I am lost on the road of hopelessness, I look to spiritual leaders, mindfulness gurus, all those that “know the way”. Eventually, I find my way out without the help from others or seemingly myself. The clouds blow away, apparently on their own, and I am left in a state of peace, calm and joy. I still do not know the key, the magic button that clears the clouds. I wonder if I walk along the path enough times, I will discover the key, that precious magic button. I wonder if I walk along the path enough times, I will find the connecting path. I wonder if the whole point is to trust that there is a clear voice inside me full of absolute confidence that will help me find the way. Maybe the point is finding trust in myself and in the journey. Maybe the point is getting lost, so I can find myself.
